billboard BREAKDOWN - hot 100 - october 30, 2021

You know, one of the primary comforts of routine is when you have something you’ve been running for years, a lot of the busywork and mechanics just fall into place naturally, you almost don’t even have to think about the minor issues because you’re so used to them being there. Billboard BREAKDOWN, at least for me, has been like that for a while, even during the album bomb weeks where it can feel utterly exhausting to put everything together and then get hit with a string of disingenuous copyright claims that will take on average a month or two to fight.

This week, however, is different - to streamline an awful story, my Google account which includes both Spectrum Pulse and Billboard BREAKDOWN was hacked, which for around 48 hours causes my channels to be stripped and replaced by a NFT-hawking livestream. Thankfully, Google was able to finally get their act together and recover my account… but in the process of taking my videos live, YouTube’s automated systems found two old album reviews and flagged them for sexual content based off of the album cover, and then found the NFT livestream the hackers had left, which was three strikes and led to the termination of Spectrum Pulse as a channel. Currently, that process is being appealed and I have to hope that it’ll work, but in the meantime, given that if you have a channel that has been terminated you’re not allowed to have another one and I’m legit terrified to compromise Billboard BREAKDOWN, this episode will sit on my blog and Patreon as per necessary for the foreseeable future. If you’re wondering if this has been a living mental hell… well, obviously, that’s the other reason why I’m in no great shape to get in front of the camera right now - the fact that such ubiquitous systems do such a miserable job protecting creators while attempting to promote them is a known reality, but you never really know the depths of how much it blows chunks until it happens to you.

But in the meantime, the top ten, I guess? I mean, it’s not surprising that Adele seized the #1 with ‘Easy On Me’ with enormous strength in every channel, to the point where I really don’t see the competition coming from any quarter - and as someone who likes Adele and this song and is perpetually amused with those in stan twitter mystified that she’s got so much traction given her fanbase is not predominantly online, I’m actually just fine with this. It comfortably moved past ‘Stay’ by Kid LAROI and Justin Bieber at #2, which still rules the radio and is picking up gains there, so you could argue that ‘Industry Baby’ by Lil Nas X and Jack Harlow was the real victim knocked off the #1 to #3, but let’s be real, it was only built for one week at the top anyway. That pushes ‘Fancy Like’ by Walker Hayes to #4, which remains as comfortably stable as ever, ‘Bad Habits’ by Ed Sheeran to #5, where its radio looks very unstable going forward, and ‘Way 2 Sexy’ by Drake ft. Future and Young Thug to #6, where despite streaming as solid as ever, the radio gains might not be enough to make up the margins. Then we have the expected slow slips from the radio with ‘good 4 u’ by Oliva Rodrigo at #7 and ‘Levitating’ by Dua Lipa at #8, and then we get to ‘Shivers’ by Ed Sheeran at #9, where despite the expectation it’ll get a boost thanks to the album in a few weeks, the radio seems to be stalling out prematurely - and to finish off, ‘Kiss Me More’ by Doja Cat ft. SZA on its way out naturally, just like the others.

So now to our losers and dropouts, which actually wind up pretty interesting because while we get the expected clinching exit for ‘Peaches’ by Justin Bieber, Daniel Caesar and Giveon, we also saw a fair number of songs that’ll look like they’ll be just short of getting that year-end list spot: ‘Todo de Ti’ by Rauw Alejandro, ‘Ain’t Shit’ by Doja Cat, ‘Waves’ by Luke Bryan, and ‘Drinkin’ Beer, Talkin’ God, Amen’ by Chase Rice ft. Florida Georgia Line… and honestly, it’s hard for me to complain about any of those going away. And going to our losers… well, kind of all over the place, with the exception of the expected Drake losers with ‘No Friends In The Industry’ at 87, ‘Champagne Poetry’ at 90, and ‘In The Bible’ ft. Lil Durk and Giveon at 94. Then we had the expected drops off the debut for ‘Flocky Flocky’ by Don Toliver and Travis Scott at 98 and ‘Lo Siento BB:/’ by Tainy, Bad Bunny and Julieta Venegas at 73, and most of the rest… honestly look like songs on their way out naturally and may wind up missing the year-end list, for better and worse. On the one hand, I’m not happy that ‘Love Again’ by Dua Lipa just couldn’t make up enough ground at 61, but with ‘Cold Beer Calling My Name’ by Jameson Rodgers and Luke Combs at 54, ‘Whole Lotta Money’ by BIA and Nicki Minaj at 70, ‘2055’ by Sleepy Hallow at 72, and ‘You Time’ with Scotty McCreery at 93… I mean, it’s hard to complain, especially knowing that ‘Thot Shit’ by Megan Thee Stallion at 82 and likely clinching the year-end list anyway.

Now we have a comparably small number of gains this week - mostly due to the minor album bomb we got from Young Thug that was just small enough to not fall under my rules - but most of them to my surprise came from returns catching some steam. Yes, ‘Meet Me At Our Spot’ by THE ANXIETY caught streaming traction to 32, and ‘Till You Can’t’ by Cody Johnson caught a nice boost off the debut to 76, but the surprises came with ‘For Tonight’ by Giveon spiking to 88 thanks to the radio and ‘Praise God’ by Kanye West ft. Baby Keem and Travis Scott… which seems to have streaming but I have no idea why folks are getting behind that of all things.

But again, not enough for a Young Thug album bomb - hell, maybe the muted response to that project wasn’t just me - but we’re going to start with…

95. ‘Peepin Out The Window’ by Young Thug ft. Future & Bslime - …well, I did say it was my favourite song on the album, bizarrely the one where Future tries to sound a little more conscious as the electric guitar wails and the piano splashes against the sharper trap whir. Now there’s not really that much to it - it’s more about their opps and old demons coming back into the picture as they try to cling to the success they’ve had recently - nobody on this song can bring serious focus to save their lives - but I’m a sucker for production that might as well be picked up from Rod Wave second-hand, and at least Future is surprisingly credible against it. So yeah, this is a good song, I’ll take it.

92. ‘Ya Superame (En Vivo)’ by Grupo Firme - alright, here’s a good reason to be keeping this all in print, because I guarantee I’d bastardize the Spanish pronunciation of all of this. And in this case… alright, for the past few weeks we’ve gotten random Mexican songs catch fire, mostly because of TikTok, but this one in particular seems to have gotten huge without going viral over there, although it seems like the management company behind this band is extremely well-connected. Anyway, this live cut seems to be embracing the slapdash approach to many of these tracks that have gone viral, full of blaring horns, brash harmonies, and a lyrical kiss-off so blunt I was legit shocked when I translated it. And I guess in the right environment that can work - this group seems to be playing to a bar-band singalong vibe, and there’s an audience that’ll go for it - but again, it feels really clumsy and sloppy, there’s no groove, and if this is the bar singalong, it’s a really obnoxious. So yeah, I don’t care for this.

91. ‘Let Somebody Go’ by Coldplay & Selena Gomez - I’m starting to think I’m one of the only people who likes this new Coldplay album - seriously, it’s not as bad as some are framing it, provided you can get into the overdone space pop cheese of it all - but I will say this was the song on the project that felt most out of place. The keyboards feel pulled from mid-90s easy listening, and while I like how the guitars and bass pick up some sandy swell into the bridge, otherwise it’s a very spare and frail ballad, with the rougher percussion not exactly elevating Selena Gomez that much. And while I’ve been a Gomez defender for years, this is a song where she’s just not equipped to sing opposite Chris Martin, who is a way more expressive and charismatic singer - Selena Gomez works when the mix amplifies and supports her, and she’s just too unsupported to match Martin here. I still don’t think this is bad, per se… but if you’re not wowed or impressed, I would understand.

78. ‘Rich N*gga Shit’ by Young Thug ft. Juice WRLD - this might be the other reason I don’t mind keeping this in text - not just because of the song title, but because the combination of a verse from the late Juice WRLD with production from Pi’erre Bourne and Kanye is precisely the moment where Young Thug’s new album tilts into outright crap. For starters, the bass mixing is flat out awful on this song to back up the distended fart of a synth - it sounds like swamp ass, the instrumental - all for Young Thug to brag about fucking your mom, calling Mexicans chickens, and saying he’s making a movie with lesbians - you can guess how pornographic that movie is. Then there’s Juice WRLD’s verse, and I can’t be the only one who is just sick of how they’ll throw on verses that are just so mediocre at best and don’t contain any of the pathos of his best moments - for God’s sake, he’s stealing your girl and referencing DJ Khaled, we don’t have to do this for the obvious streaming trolling, it feels gross. So yeah, this is goddamn terrible, but let’s stay with Young Thug and…

69. ‘Stressed’ by Young Thug ft. J. Cole & T-Shyne - alright, so let me get this straight: this was originally intended for T-Shyne’s project in 2018, then they ran into sample clearance issues and then decided to throw J. Cole on it. And I can’t be the only one who feels like this Cole verse was intended for a very different song: for a song that’s trying to be more melancholic with Young Thug’s agonized crooning about how stressed he is, and with T-Shyne’s verse about struggling with poverty and women, to see Cole try to go hard and hyper-aggressive feels wonky as hell, especially for the staccato post-chorus, even if he does end his verse complaining about his problems Now I will say that the production is pretty potent - the hazy guitars, the distant piano twinkle, the sharper trap beat, and even if the track feels weirdly abortive, it’s still one of the better ones on the album… not sure that’s saying much, though.

68. ‘Livin It Up’ by Young Thug ft. Post Malone & A$AP Rocky - let me be blunt with this: if anyone besides Post Malone and Young Thug made this song, I could probably get away with calling this mainstream country. Seriously, the lead acoustic guitar melody, the snap beat, the sound of a can opening to open up the track, the loose chill-out vibe, it’s in that territory, even if Post Malone ends his post chorus with banging sounds that feel like they should bang a little harder. But that’s the odd thing: the content is mostly a flex outside of Thugger saying he lets his girl lie to him because she’s suicidal, and you’d think a song this smooth wouldn’t have to bring out so many guns - heh, I guess it is a country song after all. I’ll give Post Malone this, it’s one hell of a hook, and if there’s a song from the album that I can see lasting on that alone, it’s this one… but even still, not sure I’m fully onboard.

57. ‘Better Days’ by NEIKED, Mae Muller & Polo G - did this song only get traction because Polo G is on it, or was it TikTok again? Because I’m not familiar with Swedish producer NEIKED or Mae Muller at all - the latter apparently got signed off of singing on Instagram and then was a supporting act for Little Mix, and NEIKID… not a lot to go off with this outside of a writing credit on Maroon 5’s ‘What Lovers Do’ - fun stuff. And it’s worth bringing that song up, because this feels like it falls between that and especially Doja Cat’s ‘Kiss Me More’ for a hazy pop rollick with a lot of fake horns and Mae Muller’s husky, but generally unremarkable delivery that reminds me more than it should of Bebe Rexha. Granted, part of this is the writing - her verse feels clunky in its cooing and longing, it’s clear Polo G is the star here… and it’s odd how well he works in a pop context, because he’s got a really solid command of groove and his own wistful melancholy fits pretty well. I’d also say this feels like a song that blows up off TikTok - one verse from Mae Muller, one from Polo G, and after the final hook it ends quickly, so a little unfinished as a whole - but I wouldn’t say I dislike this… even if Polo G is the only reason I have to care.

56. ‘Ex For A Reason’ by Summer Walker & JT - the first thing I did when I heard about this song was check to see if London On Da Track cowrote it, and sure enough he’s here even if Summer Walker is no longer dating him; leaves you wondering what the hell actually blew up here and what’s being manufactured, but fine, Summer brought up a member of the City Girls for backup, this is obviously a kiss-off… but not to who I thought it was. No, this is Summer Walker targeting her boyfriend’s ex who is still in the picture and may still have some connection to him - Summer is going full toxic and rifling through her boyfriend’s phone, so whatever’s there might not last either, which is weird because Summer is trying to play the song as if she doesn’t care… and she obviously does. And that’s only reinforced by JT swinging in with a pretty potent, ‘The Boy Is Mine’ smackdown where she’s plenty credible in selling how much she’s going to kick someone’s ass - she’s the highlight of a song by a considerable mile, and honestly, I wish Summer played more in that lane instead of trying to fake being coy. Granted, the other thing to appreciate is the thick retro cushion of backing vocals supporting the whirring stutter knock of the beat, supple bass and liquid guitars - the mix sounds lush and has a really damn solid groove, which is weird where Summer Walker once again sounds compressed, more synthetic and thinner than she should on on this mix… can we just give it to the City Girls, I think they’d do more with it! Either way… look, I’m still no Summer Walker fan, but there’s enough to appreciate on this song to keep it solid, I wouldn’t mind if this stuck around.

45. ‘Lets Go Brandon’ by Loza Alexander - …you know, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that Tom MacDonald would spawn ripoffs that actually came from the United States, so here’s the third and final reason I didn’t care to film this that much. So Loza Alexander is the definition of someone trying to run the same reactionary grift but with more of a lean approach targeting apps like TikTok, with a single verse and perhaps the dumbest possible chant that leads into the near-titular ‘Fuck Joe Biden’. Now say what you will about Tom MacDonald, there’s a part of him that was at least trying to be the fast-rapping white guy worshipping Eminem that implies at least an attempt at greater artistry - he might be repetitive and insufferable, but you can tell he cares way too much and that translates to his overwritten songs. Loza Alexander, on the other hand, doesn’t have much of an identity at all - I actually found his projects away from the grift and they have the feel of the underground rap where he might be able to flow or get an occasional decent beat but won’t stand out from the crowd because he’s just ripping off everyone popular with a similar style. And that means where Tom MacDonald will try to make points, Loza Alexander will just insult people and call Biden a pedophile with shameless abandon and amateur production, and it makes it so damn obvious this is a grift. So there’s very little to say about this - the mix sounds painfully cheap, the verse is twelve bars with vague complaining against Biden and the vaccine mandates and calling him a communist in a way that makes me absolutely certain this guy has no idea what communism even is. So congrats Loza, as someone who checked out a few songs on your albums and heard moments of promise if you got production and some refinement, you’re now this guy for the rest of your short career Hope your dreams were worth it.

39. ‘Pissed Me Off’ by Lil Durk - seems like we’re getting a lot of shorter songs this week - but this time we’ve got one that’s brutally effective, where Lil Durk talks about the home invasion that targeted he and his girl and how he’s living up to the song’s title. And Durk can be really damn intimidating when he wants to - the the drill beat with the choirs, just how ruthless he sounds, the reference to how some only wear masks when they’re coming to kill someone and not prevent the pandemic, and especially on how so often his name and gang callouts are thrown online by keeping his late brother and King Von in their mouths, where Lil Durk seems to have no compunctions about shooting back. Again, it’s actually pretty damn effective for its breathless runtime… and honestly, given the hellish time he’s had, it might just feel deserved.

20. ‘Bubbly’ by Young Thug ft. Drake & Travis Scott - it sucks that we’re ending things off with this, with another horribly mixed bass beat with Young Thug’s cheap brand name porn with the weedy warping synths, and then Travis dropping in opposite the sirens and with frankly more intensity than I think anyone else expected, even if the Squid Game reference is going to thoroughly date this. But then Drake shows up with the beat shift to something considerably better mixed with the eerie synths and rumbling bass… and says nothing of substance. You can tell he doesn’t care, echoing the same brand name porn and popularity contest bars intermixed between ad-libs filling up space, presumably because apparently Lil Baby was supposed to be on this song and just forgot to send his verse in, it might explain how clunky and misshapen it all feels. But in when it comes to this collab, considering there’s no hook here… yeah, not good.

And it leads to a week that feels off in so many places, and really not that good - hell, the one song I unequivocally like is ‘Peepin Out The Window’ by Young Thug ft. Future and Bslime so I guess it’s the best, with the Honourable Mention going to ‘Pissed Me Off’ by Lil Durk for at least sounding coherent and convincing in its narrow focus. Now I could pick a lot of different losers here, but I think I’m going to go with ‘Rich N*gga Shit’ by Young Thug ft. Juice WRLD as the worst for just sounding like ass, with ‘Lets Go Brandon’ by Losa Alexander as the Dishonourable Mention because this boring fragment isn’t worth considering, let alone hating. Next week… hopefully I’ll be back to the channel proper, so stay tuned for that!